The way to orgasm

I get many mails from readers lately, asking me for help with their orgasm problems. Women and men alike want to know, how the female orgasm works and how to achieve it. If you have the right toys, this is a good way in the right direction, but without the proper use and mindset, you or your partner might have troubles to reach the point of no return.

If you ask me directly, I can tell you exactly what works for me, but all women are different. But I can suggest some real great reading material, a book called "She comes first". It describes in detail what a woman needs to achieve orgasms whenever she desires to.

Fun, informative, and easy to read, She Comes First is a virtual encyclopedia of female pleasure, detailing dozens of tried-and-true techniques for satisfying a woman and illustrated step-by-step instructions to ensure success. These simple methods represent a new era in sexual intimacy, one in which the exchange of pleasure occurs on a level playing field and fulfillment is mutual. You can get this book here.


Ironically I also get a quite similar question about orgasms from time to time from women. They want to know which toy they should get for their male partner. Sex toys seem to be quite popular for Christmas. While you cannot go wrong with a high quality masturbator, I want you to consider a second option. If you want to make your partner really happy, give him the blowjob of his life. How? Well, there is a great sequel of "She comes first" called "He comes next".

Our sexual identities - and the expression, gratification, and growth of these identities - is fundamental to the success of our intimate relationships. With step-by-step and - yes - blow-by-blow detail, this book provides a clear, concise, achievable vision of sexual pleasure, one in which each technique forwards the action and where the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. You can get this book here.

Forced Orgasms

Last week I told you about Isabella and our trip to the disco with the remote vibrating panties. I was a little unsure about my feelings, since I usually don't have sex with other women. We talked about our intimate encounter a few days back and agreed that some innocent fun won't hurt, and she is not bi either.

Well, nevertheless she challenged me last Friday. "You seem like such an expert when it comes to sex toys, I love the things you showed me so far...". Isabella knows my sex toy stash pretty well, and I never disappointed her when she looked for something new. "... but today I will show you something special. How long can you prevent an orgasm?"

Preventing an orgasm? I thought these toys are for giving orgasms! Of course I knew what she was talking about. Last week in the disco I had a hard time preventing to cum, as you all might remember. "Well, after last weekend I would say I could handle half an hour of constant stimulation".

She laughed. "You have great faith in yourself, but such an challenge wouldn't be fair. I give you ten minutes. You won't be able to hold back that long. My new toy will make you give up instantly."

Now I was curious and wanted to see this voodoo, but she didn't show me. "Let me tie you up, than you can prove yourself. If you can do 10 minutes, you can have my new toy for your stash. If you cum too early, I will reset the clock and get another 10 minutes to stimulate you without a break."

The stakes were high, I know what nonstop stimulation means. I get so sensitive after an orgasm, that I need a break. I wrote about my self bondage accident in this blog a while back, you can find it here. I learned the hard way what over-stimulation means. But 10 minutes is no time, so I agreed, since I wanted to know what kind of magic she had in her pocket. Additionally I still had some bondage gear which I hadn't tried out so far.

Isabella has seen me naked many times, but this time it felt strange to undress in front of her, knowing what awaits me. I had attached the bondage straps to the bed already, today I will use them for the first time. Isabella stuffed two pillows under my butt and fixated me spreadeagled on the bed. The new bondage gear was much easier to handle than my old ropes, still it was as secure. I couldn't move an inch. Now I was at the mercy of Isabella. "I will grab a timer from the kitchen, I'm back in a second."

I heard her going into the kitchen and using the bathroom afterwards. Then she was back with the new toy. I expected something pretty tricky, but the opposite was true. A toy so simply but yet so powerful. She got herself a Hitachi Magic Wand, you might have seen this toy at "Sex and the City". I had never tried it myself before, but now was judgment day.



If you want to get one for yourself, you can get it here.

"The rules are easy. When I touch you for the first time, I will start the clock. You must not cum for 10 minutes otherwise you get your penalty. If you make it, the Hitachi is yours!" My clit was really exposed because the pillows under my butt, pushing my pussy up in the air. I was already wet and excited. Not a good starting position. But well, 10 minutes can be handled. "Deal!".

She plugged the Hitachi in and searched for something in her pocket. She pulled a small bottle out. "Hey, that's not fair!". I instantly knew what she did in the bathroom. She got hold of my "Liquid V" bottle, the arousal gel I presented to you last week. This stuff works wonders. This changes my situation completely. She dribbled a few drops on my clit and turned the wand on. The clock was started.

"Have fun", she smiled. Slowly she massaged the gel unto my clit with the Hitachi. The buzz felt incredible and the gel made me even more sensitive. Oh my god, not even two minute have passed and I was on the edge, my pussy soaking wet. She massaged me slowly but the vibrations were so pleasurable. Minute three started with me still hovering at the edge. No way I can make 10 minutes, I will fail, no matter what. Maybe if I strain all my muscles real tight... "Do you know what lets my jump over the edge instantly? When somebody pinches my nipples, I cum instantly." She smiled and reached for me left nipple. I was sure that would seal my fate. But the moment she pinched it, she turned off the Hitachi. I thought I was over the edge, but fell back a second before I reached the point of no return. What was she doing? To be honest, I was really hoping to cum, I was already in need for release.

"That will be easy", she kept smiling. "But why should I let you cum, I have seven more minutes to build up your orgasm. This will make the next 10 minutes even more fun."

And she did. She performed any trick on me you can imagine, building me up and stopping on the last second. She could trigger an orgasm any time she wished. "Oh, nine minutes already, too bad". Time for my release, if she wanted to win the bet. But she made a small mistake, she gave me a little break. Only a few seconds, but I could recover a bit. Maybe her plan backfires, I thought.

30 seconds left, she kept the steady massage. I strained every muscle in my body to keep away from orgasm, I was on the razors edge. 20 seconds. I felt the first signs of spasms in my pussy, I sure sign of an orgasm. I screamed and moaned furiously, I must hold back!

15 seconds left, I fought against my restraints. 15 short seconds, my body trembled with excitement. She has brought me on the edge so many times. I clenched my teeth. I needed to cum so badly, but am not allowed to.

"You seem to enjoy yourself honey, have I showed you the high vibration setting yet?". Oh no, she tricked my again! She knew exactly was she was doing, she didn't made a mistake. She pushed a button on the Hitachi and the buzzing increased to a real powerful level. I wasn't prepared for this!

As you can imagine I orgasmed really hard, a few seconds before the clock hit 10 minutes. The orgasm seemed eternal, I felt fantastic. Losing the bet didn't matter at that moment, the sensation was too overwhelming. I enjoyed myself as long as I could.

When I came back from my trip, I saw the evil grin on Isabella's face. She has turned of the Hitachi and reseted the clock. "Wow, that was incredible, just give me a short break", I asked of her. "Sure, you can rest as long as you wish, once the next 10 minutes are over. You liked the low setting so much, how about 10 minutes on the high setting?"

I won't go into any more details, but the next 10 minutes felt like hours. My sensitive pussy received some more arousal gel and the massage of its life. Isabella did go through with her evil plan and didn't slow the Hitachi down for the whole time. I don't know what exhausted me more, the three orgasms she gave me during the session or the torture in between. One thing is for sure, I will need the softest silk panties I can find during the next days.

Well, this "product test" was successful, I will definitely get a Hitachi Magic Wand for myself pretty soon. Isabella was right, the Hitachi can do magic. Now I understand, why it is so popular.

Top 3 arousal gels for women

I have shown you many excellent toys so far, today I will present you my personal favorites when it comes to arousal gels. I tried many of them during the last month and selected my personal top 3. I never thought I could make good use of something like a substance for arousal, since I am pretty horny anyway, but I changed my mind 180 degrees.

A good arousal gel can make sex and masturbation so much more intense and pleasurable, that I use it at least once a week. After applying a good amount of arousal gel on my clit, I have the instant urge to cum. I get really wet and my clit swells with blood and even the lightest touch feels incredible. Give it a try, you will love it!

Now to my personal top 3, lets start at the bottom:


Place 3 was taken by a substance called "JO clitoral stimulating gel". It works quite well and gets my juices flowing quickly. Its fresh smell is a bonus, but the stimulating effect wears of rather quick, so you need to reapply the gel a few times during a longer session. Some people reported irritations if the gel gets in contact with the labia, but I never had such problems. The feeling is nice while it lasts, the short duration results in place 3 for this gel.


The 2nd place goes to "Pure Passion". There are four different flavors, I only tried strawberry so far, which tastes fantastic. The effect is really good, my clit reacts well to this arousal gel. It takes a few minutes to get the full effect, but once it reaches the maximum, it stays there for at least 30 minutes. After a first cool breeze it gets very warm and my clit gets really sensitive. It enables me to cum quicker and more often than usual. The orgasms are more intense and seem to last a bit longer. It is definitely the best "standard" gel. The only reason this gel missed place 1 is the winner "Liquid V", which feels completely different to all the other gels.


"Liquid V" is the perfect arousal gel for me. It works almost instantly on me and a little amount is enough to get me on the edge. After applying a few drops of this gel on my clit, I feel like I must masturbate and cum, otherwise I would climb the walls. This substance would make a great torture device. Immobilize your victim spreadeagled on the bed, slowly massage a few drops of Liquid V on her clit and leave her there without stimulation. I would confess everything in exchange for an orgasm in such a situation. An Liquid V orgasm is a fantastic experience, my clit keeps tingling for quite a while after I cum. Every touch feels sensational once the gel is applied to the clit. If you are looking for a Christmas present for your wife, buy her a few bottles of Liquid V, you will both love it. If you are a woman yourself, you might consider making yourself a present :).

All three arousal gels are available at Eden Fantasies. I highly recommend Liquid V for single use. If you want to have oral sex, Pure Passion would be a better choice because of the nice taste.

The trendy iBuzz

Today I want to present you a real creative device which I learned to love. One year ago it was really trendy to have an iPOD. The times have changed, nowadays you also need an iBuzz!

iBuzz is the musical orgasm machine. The music-activated vibrating bullet stimulates you in time with your favorite music. The ultimate combination between music and secret pleasure. After I got this great toy, I finally understood why people enjoy Hip-Hop so much :).


If you want to try this toy, you can get it here. I bet you will enjoy this hidden helper as much as I do.


If you don't have an iPod, that's not a problem. You can use it without one. Using the iBuzz without an iPod is still just as fun, as you can enjoy one of the 7 amazing vibration patterns - change the function simply by pressing one of the arrow buttons until you find your favorite. Enjoy :)

Vibrating panties with remote control

If you like games, this one is for you! I really enjoy having orgasms, which makes this game even more challenging. Imagine you are near the edge of orgasm, but you are not allowed to get over the edge. Imagine you are stimulated in you most sensitive parts, but must hold back no matter how much you need relief. Sounds like something you wanna try?

You should try the following game. Get vibrating panties with an remote control and a partner of your choice. I suggest these panties.


I am single at the moment, so who do I play this game with you might ask. My solution to this problem is my best friend Isabella. I am not bisexual and never had sex with her. But we share our secret fantasies together, and I told her about my remote controlled panties. I wold her how I would love to go to the disco dancing with this panties, and my lover can control the vibrations remotely while I shake on the dance floor. There would be no way to get an orgasm without embarrassing myself, so I would have to hold back.

Isabella smiled at the idea but we didn't discuss it any further. On the following weekend she gave me a call and suggested going out to a local club, and I should bring my panties. I was a little unsure at first, but decided I want to try this. I got wuite wet the moment I slipped them on, knowing what lies ahead of me. I had a real busy week, and I didn't have orgasmed for over 5 days. A personal record I guess ;). So enjoyed some vibrations at low speed until I met with Isabella the club.

She requested the remote control immediately and I handed it over. "I feel like I haven't cum in years, so be gentle!" I begged her. She just gave me an "as if I would care look" and grabbed the remote. She turned of the vibrations and we went to the dancefloor, having a good time. A view drinks later the floor got really crowded. The moment I least expected, the vibrations were turned back on by Isabella. Slowly first, but she turned them up after a few minutes and I felt my juices running down my legs. I got to the edge real fast, but my orgasms are very intense. No way I could hide an orgasm. "I must not cum, I must not cum, I must not cum!". I tried every method I could think of to cool down, but Isabella controlled my panties like an expert. She held me on the edge for what seemed forever, luckily I managed to hold back. This evening was exhausting like a marathon, I wonder if anyone noticed something.

Isabella offered to drive me home. After we started driving she grabbed my crotch and asked with a wicked smile "How are you doing down there?". Her touch were like needles piercing through my body. She never touched my pussy before, so it was totally unexpected. My clit was screaming for an orgasm and I could only moan as an answer. She told me this game turned her on a lot and she is wet herself. Next weekend she want to try it to. She petted my pussy through my jeans for a few seconds but removed her hand afterwards. I am not into women, but at that moment I would have gave everything for her to rub my pussy.

At the next crossing, the lights turned red. "Put your hands behind your back!". She commanded. Not knowing what to expect, I did. "You have time until the lights turn green". With this words she turned my panties on again. Only at half speed, bastard. Nevertheless I approached my climax really soon, moaning with pleasure. "Oh my god, I'm about to ......" - "Green" she said and turned the panties off! I protested, I was so close. "There will be more stops ahead of as, don't worry". I did worry...

There were 6 crossings with red lights. Isabella enjoyed this game more and more. She always found the right speed, that I came very near, but never climaxed.

When we arrived at my house, I instantly know what to do. Get rid of Isabella and masturbate until the morning light! "Lets have another drink at your place!". Oh my god. She didn't plan to leave as I hoped she would. She was already out of the car, no way I could stop her. Well, one drink would be ok. I made the mistake to leave her the remote control. After 4 drinks and many edges later I begged her for an orgasm. I really needed it. "I haven't seen your magic panties yet, show me!". I went to the bath room and changed into a silk bathrobe and cleaned my panties. Isabella examined the panties and understood, what made me so horny. They do their magic on the right spots. She instantly agreed to try them out on the next weekend together.

Did I get my orgasm this night you might ask? Well, Isabella finally decided to leave, and we hugged as usual when we part. Only this time she slid her hand under my bathrobe and grabbed my pussy before I could react. I was dripping wet and a little embarrassed at this fact. A soft moan escaped me. "You need it badly, don't you?". She started to massage my pussy. In every other situation I would have pushed her back. We are best friends, not lovers. But in my state of being drunk and highly aroused, I just enjoyed her touch. She paid much attention to my sensitive and swollen clit and her hands soft hands knew what they were doing. When I reached the edge, she stopped. "Want more?". Hell yes I want more, she can't do that to me. I was afraid she would leave me struggling again. But she didn't without warning she increased the speed of her fingers and an shuddering orgasm hit me. My knees turned weak and she had to hold me to prevent me from breaking down. This was one of the best orgasms I ever had, hugging my best friend at the same moment. It was incredible.

I hope I inspired you to try something like this for yourself. Take a look at the "strap-on vibe" section of Eden Fantasys, they have all you need for a game of public arousal. My personal favorite is the remote controlled panties I used with Isabella. Experiment and have fun!

Careful what you wish for

I want to share a story with you. Sex toys are great, but when you look for the ultimate orgasm, be careful what you wish for. This is a real experience and if you never were in such a situation, it will be hard for you, to imagine what I went through.

The story took place when I was 24 years old, about one year ago. I was single back then and experimented a little with self bondage. I had this fantasy about being tied up and being forced to have an orgasm. On a hot summer day I was horny enough to make this fantasy real. I had some experience with self bondage before, so I knew what I was doing. I lay down naked on my bed, only wearing a tight slip. Using some rope I tied my feet spread apart to each corner of my bed. To prevent further movement I used another rope that I had prepared under the bed before. I tied one end to my left knee, the rope went through one time under the bed and on the other side I tied it to my other knee. I made it tight enough that I couldn't move my legs at all. Especially after tying my hands to the upper side of the bed, movement was impossible.

The art of self bondage is to find a timer, which releases you after a certain amount of time. I use handcuffs with a key for this purpose. Before the bondage session the key gets frozen in an ice cube and hung from the ceiling over the bed. The only way to get free is to wait until the ice cube melts and the key is dropped. Depending on the size of the ice cube this varies in time. I used a real huge on, estimated bondage time 2 hours.

There I was, bond spreadeagled to the bed, impossible to move my legs or hip an inch. The ice cube was already in place, staring down at me. To fulfill my fantasy, I prepared a mechanism to force myself into having orgasms. First I applied a certain amount of climatique cream on my clit. This helped me having intense orgasms before. I activated my "Lily", a quite effective vibrating device, and secured it under my slip. Since I wore a real tight one, the vibrator was held there securely and sent waves of pleasure though my body. The first orgasm would only be away a few minutes, that was for sure.



Quickly I secured my hands an the top of the bed with the handcuffs. That moment I realized how effective my bondage setup was. There was absolutely no way to escape, before the icecube melted fully. Excellent, I thought, while moaning in pleasure.

The cream was doing what it was supposed to do, I was dripping wet and regretted I had forgoten placing a towel beneath me. Too late for this, but who cares. The vibrations took me higher and higher, while I laid there helpless, unable to move. Then the first orgasm struck me like thunder. A real mind blowing one, the Lily found the right spot. I pulled on the ropes when the orgasmic spasms came, but they didn't move an inch. Knowing I can get quite loud when coming, I closed all the windows before I started. Good choice, because I couldn't hold back and moaned my sweet pleasure out aloud.

After the first waves passed by, I realized my mistake. My clit became real sensitive and the vibrations were more painful than pleasurable. Without any movement possible I could neither stop the device nor get it away from my clit. My moans turned from pleasure into frustration. The ice cube was designed for 2 hours, maybe a little more. I fetched it from the fridge 20 minutes ago. So I had to endure this for quite some time.

Despite the pain my body reacted to the vibrations again. I could feel another orgasm approaching. This was my fantasy, being forced to have orgasms. Great, that wasn't what I had in mind in the beginning. Stopping the orgasm from approaching was impossible, although I knew it would make my clit even more sensitive. I screamed all the pain and pleasure out aloud when the second orgasm hit my body. And this was not the end of course. After each orgasm my sensitivity increased and the pain became stronger and stronger. This was real torture. If only I could get away from the vibrator for a second, but that was not possible. I lost count of my orgasms at number 17, but until the cube melted I had about 30 orgasms.

Once I had the key in my hands and freed myself I turned off the vibration and took a look at my clit. It was screaming red and swollen. Now I know, that a clit is not build for 2 hour nonstop vibration at full speed. I should have known better before.

Don't get me wrong, the Lily is a great device, but I like it more when I have control over it ;).

The Micro Dolphin

Since I started with my collection already, I want to show you another little helper for everyday use.

This cute vibration dolphin which is used on the clit can be worn during intercourse, but I prefer it alone. This item can be worn beneath your normal clothing without being detected from the outside world. When I am feeling horny but have some tasks to do, I apply my dolphin. It doesn't matter if you use it while going shopping or doing some housework, with the dolphin the world looks different. If you have a job where you have to sit all day long, this is another great opportunity to utilize the dolphin.

I advice you to wear it under a tight slip, because than it is less likely that it gets out of place and stays where it belongs.

Eroscillator 2 Plus - The Oscillating Vibrator

If you are looking for intense clit stimulation, the oscillating vibrator is for you.



It looks cold at first, but despite the design it works great. I never had problems achieving orgasms, but a good friend of mine is this type of girl. No matter how hard she tries, orgasms are pretty rare for her. This changed when I showed her the eroscillator. This special kind of vibration gets her off after a view minutes. And that's not all. She told me she experienced several orgasms during one night, something she never achieved before.

I can second her experience, I enjoy this toy a lot. And it also works wonders on the sensitive spots of my partner. It is not the cheapest device, but once you have it in your stash, you will know it is worth every penny.

Berman Juno - Weighted Pelvic Exerciser

This is one of those toys I would never ever give away again, that's why I want to introduce it first.


The first impression is, that we have a "normal" glass dildo here. But the pelvic exerciser is much more. It is the perfect way to train your muscles where you need them most. After a few weeks of training my orgasms became much more intense and pleasurable. And also my partner said he never experienced me so nice and tight before.

There are many good exercises. For example you can simply try to hold the pelvic exerciser with your vaginal muscles and support the weight with your hand, until you find a good balance that works for you. When you can hold the whole thing easily, you can try a funny game that I invented. I stand on the floor and my partner ties my legs to the bedposts, so that I have to stand spreadeagled, my feet about 150 cm away from each other. My hands are tied behind my back. Now he inserts the pelvic exerciser inside of me and I take a firm grip. Now the game starts. He is allowed to do anything to me except for touching the exerciser. He can tickle me or lick me whereever he wants, while I try not to drop the exerciser. This game is fun for both of us :).

No matter how you use it, it will boost your sexual experience a lot.

Welcome to my pleasure toy reviews

I got my first vibrator a few yours back from a friend as a gimmick when I turned 18. Since this day I learned to love those dirty little helpers. I use them alone or as support when I have sex with one of my partners. With all this first hand knowledge I want to start a blog about my experiences. So if you have any question about one of the items, feel free to leave a comment and ask.